As a someone who self identifies as a “creative”, motherhood was the ultimate creative process. To create a new being felt like the epitome of intuitive art making.

My motherhood journey was all about relinquishing control and trusting in a higher plan. Early on into my pregnancy I felt resolved to sit back and observe each moment of the journey for what it was. I did not dwell on the past or create expectations for the future. My goal was to exist in a state of calm presence.

There is no greater anticipation than waiting to meet child growing inside of you. The process stretches your identity into a permanent caretaker, always factoring in someone other than yourself. It taught me to love without limits. It showed me that any piece of life that looks like chaos simply hasn’t come into focus yet.

Reflections on Motherhood poured out of me in three or four painting sessions. It was one of those pieces that presents itself to you like a gift. I wasn’t consciously reflection on motherhood when I made it, and yet my day to day life was so seeped in maternity that the message was clear the moment I reviewed the finished piece.

Calming green, blue, and yellow tones form a gradient to suggest a natural transformation, a gradual coming of age. While the colors are mostly serene, spots of orange and red show the moments of pain and trauma. Details like the graphite mark making in the center elude to the slow countdown of pregnancy, or marking the days of a sentence. The composition uses the divine ratio to sweep the visual elements into tight spiral, centering a single dot, the beginning of life. The right hand is left bare save for a single graphite line leading into the beyond. A splattering of green dirties the white field, as some of the past always seems to bleed into the future.

Reflections on Motherhood. 2023

Acrylic, ink, oil pastel on canvas

48 x 30 in